The Caprine Cure.P1

Authored and GMed by Colin Richards

Setting and time period: 2025 Rural Appalachian Health Spa

Description: You are invited to a luxury resort for an exclusive health and wellness retreat where you soon realize all is not as it seems.

Roe Jogan, Pundit (Daniel): Roe is mad as hell and wants you to be mad as well per his renegade blog tirades! Exactly what to be mad at changes from week to week. Outrage sells, and currently, business is good. While the world burns, and his viewers are spurred onto violent action, Roe is laughing all the way to the bank.

Max Power, CEO (Mike K): Through your ruthless tactics you've made the company countless billions of dollars, acquiring countless smaller companies, tracts of land, assets, IPs, tech and more. However, it isn't enough. The Caprine Cure is beyond exclusive, and everything has a price.  Perhaps this resort could be your next purchase?

Kyle Miles, Mogul (Josh): The hippest fashions, the coolest cars, the rarest foods, the most exclusive clubs. Josh wants the best of everything because he can afford it and is entitled to it.

Roma Holiday, Dilettante (Andrew): said to be the 3rd most beautify woman in the world. Just ask her or any one of her dozen support staff members who wait on her hand-and-foot as Roma is pampered, chauffeured, and served, all the while never working a day in her life as she relies on her looks and magnetic personality.

Vibrant Visionary, Social Media Influencer (Bill): takes his followers on reviews of the latest gadgets and trends. He delves into self-awareness topics dealing with physical/mental/spiritual health, in hopes that they may gain insight and relief from their own troubles. This spa invite touches on ALL of the topics!

🎥 Vibrant Visionary's Vblog: “Mysteries & Milk Baths — A Journey to Caprine Springs”

[Opening Scene] Interior dashboard cam. Jeep Wrangler hums along a winding Appalachian road, testing the extreme edge of the mountain road to thrill his video followers, sun filtering through the dense forest canopy. Vibrant Visionary, sunglasses slightly askew, flashes his signature grin at the camera.

🎙️ “Alright visionaries, this...this is it. We are officially en route to the exclusive, invite-only, 250-year-old Caprine Springs Resort and Spa — nestled right in a freaking caldera! Yeah. You heard me. And not just any spa experience… this is a journey. Of healing, of truth... of getting real. So buckle up — or better yet, ride with me — as we tackle everything from fractured family ties to those socially awkward silences we pretend don’t exist.”

He lifts a sleek pair of eyeglasses. 🕶️ “First up — gadgets. They sent me these camera-equipped smart specs. Honestly? I kinda look sexy in them, don’t you think?” Winks at the camera as he pins a veteran’s lapel pin to his jacket. 🎖️ “Also: this little guy? It’s not just patriotic... it’s packing a hidden lens. We’re gonna test the limits on these, people.”

[Arrival] External drone cam shows Caprine Springs nestled in mist, stone pathways curling through mineral pools and forested sanctuaries.

🎙️ “Look at this place! It’s like stepping into a forgotten chapter of Earth’s diary.” Vibrant exits the Jeep and is met by staff in minimalist linen robes, soft stringed music drifting through the trees.

🌟 Enter:

• Roe Jogan: A medicinal renegade with a mic.
• Max Power: CEO of... something (TBD).
• Kyle Miles: Looks like he’s just finished losing $12 billion.
• Roma Holiday: Dressed like a peacock mated with royalty — flanked by her literal dozen-member glam squad, with Clara as her personal handmaid. Regarded as her BFF, Roma includes Clara to partake in the offered services.

🎙️ “Watching the entourage that caters to MS Holiday, I have to say: ‘It takes a village to maintain perfection.’ And that village appears to be imported.”

[Orientation by Nyla Majanga] Elegant, radiant, unplaceable accent. 🎙️ “Nyla laid it out like a spiritual map — treatments designed to awaken senses, reset rhythms, and peel back layers. And then: happy hour. Gluten-free rosé and vegan ceviche never tasted so elevated.”

[Specialized Treatments] We are presented with a list of offered services. Cut to each guest mid-service:

• Roe, Max, Clara 🌀 Sound, Light & Color Sensory Awakening
• Kyle 🔥 Mystical Fire Stone Massage
• Roma 💅 Zen Tranquility Manicure & Pedicure
• Vibrant 🛁 Mother’s Warm Milk Bath

🎙️ “I thought it was just milk. But it felt like being cradled by something... ancient.”

[The Steam Room Experience] Footage stutters as Vibrant speaks, sweat glistening. 🎙️ “So uh... I had to take off the glasses. Steam and tech don't mix. But something weird happened.” He describes the bent-kneed, horned figure. 🎙️ “Must’ve been steam distortion. Had to be. Right?”

[The Locker Room Incident] Footage resumes. 🎙️ “We’re in the locker room. Calling for staff. No reply.” Shows grainy footprints. 🐐 “Hooves. Not shoes. I bathed in goat’s milk... do they let them wander through here?”

Roma and Clara arrive, fashionably late, as Roe follows mysterious sounds toward an “Employees Only” door.

[The Hidden Room] Dim, eerie. 🎙️ “No lights. Mud oozing from the cliff like it’s alive." Then Roe finds a note — cryptic spa chants. 

"Each verse seems to reference properties offered either in the spa services or cuisine. ‘Golden sweet from bees…’ wasn’t there a Transformation Honey Facial service offered?! And then... blackout.”

[The Awakening] All guests on plush divans. 🎙️ “They say it was a dream. But the glasses? Static. I cannot recommend these specs — cut out right at climax. Roe’s note? Gone.” Pans to gift baskets and a serene Nyla Majanga.

🧪 “Final gala coming. We’ve all been asked to select one ingredient per day of treatment to be added to our final elixir (our personal catalyst for transformation) to be offered on the concluding gala night. For my first ingredient, I’m torn between eucalyptus... and something stronger.”

🌟 Interviews of their experience:

• Roe Jogan: “I was a bit bummed when we didn’t find a goat to go with those prints. But I do have to say they have some quality herbs and products that equal or better any drugs I’ve experimented with. But even that light metallic ting that resonated through the halls couldn’t down out Clara’s whinny voice. Can we all agree to ask her boss to leave her behind?”
• Max Power: “If you don’t mind, I’d prefer to keep my experiences to myself.”
• Kyle Miles: “While I initially felt rejuvenated in the sauna, it became a bit too much as I soon felt drained and passed out. That doesn’t sound like a healthy spa experience to me.”
• Roma Holiday: “I’m sure my beauty is beyond reach for most of your audience, but they should take heart in the many products being offered. If they can afford such. As for my experience, it was little too risky when we found ourselves alone in that sauna and I without my bodyguard. I couldn’t help but think that was the perfect opportunity for me to be kidnapped! No, no, too risky and uncomfortable. Now if you don’t mind, I need to see my hairstylist as I shudder to think what it looks like under this towel!”
• Clara (with an irritating whinny voice): “I usually don’t get the opportunity to enjoy such decadence. So yes, it was enjoyable to be the one catered on for once. Am I being too forward to ask, I mean considering the way you and Roe had your hands wrapped on each other’s shoulders, are you more than just BFFs like my boss and I?”

[Closing Scene] Backlit by firelight, guests sip various cocktails, mingling as enigmatic music swells.

🎙️ “This wasn’t just a spa retreat — this was a portal. Whether it’s milk baths or mystery notes... Caprine Springs has secrets. And maybe, just maybe... that’s where healing begins. And did I mention Roe found the note in his change-of-cloths pocket?!”

NEXT SESSION: The Caprine Cure.P2